Musings
by kaitou-marron
Summary: Hitsugaya and Matsumoto commiserate with each other about loving people who are really a handful to keep an eye out for [Hinamori and Ichimaru, respectively, as expected]. [Oneshot for now. May extend into a series of random ficlets, but no promises.]


**Disclaimer: **I am neither Kubotite, nor do I pretend to be. I'm just using his characters for my (and hopefully your) amusement.

**Author's notes:** This one-shot was inspired by the fact that: (1) boy geniuses are awesome and (2) Nagayama Takashi, who plays Hitsugaya in BleachMyu, is adorable (I loved him as Kikumaru in TeniMyu, so the fangirl in me is squealing).

I'm usually not a fan of one-shots, although, if done correctly, they can be very effective. Here's hoping:: fingers crossed :

Chronology: After Matsumoto interrupts the fight between Hitusgaya and Ichimaru, but before they head out for that 46 building (ep 48ish)

**Musings**

"Captain Hitsugaya," Matsumoto repeated for the third time to no avail. Hitsugaya Toushirou sat at the desk, right hand clutched around a pen and left hand supporting his head, his body held as rigidly still as those ice sculptures he was so fond of. Although his customary scowl was on his face, she could detect the hint of worry in his blue-green eyes. From her position on the couch, she contemplated reaching out to him to distract him from his thoughts, all of which she knew were focused on one particular person.

_Hinamori,_ Hitsugaya thought. _Be safe. That's all I ever wanted …_ With a heavy sigh, he dropped the pen that he was holding and raised his right hand to his face, resting his cheeks against his palms. Coaching his breathing to be calm and slow, he rubbed tiredly at his temples. _She should be fine in the medical ward. She should be safe._ Although he tried to reassure himself with these trivial thoughts, the truth was that Hitsugaya was never convinced that Hinamori was safe enough. In fact it, and not his obvious talent, was the sole reason he had agreed to go to Shinigami school.

Watching over Hinamori had provided much more of a challenge than he had imagined. Pure-hearted and more than a bit naïve, she had always let her emotions run her, something that he knew would get her in trouble. However, he had never imagined that the trouble would have brought her to attack him.

Frown deepening, brows furrowed, he thought, _She can't possibly really believe that I'd do something like kill Captain Aizen._ Her lack of faith in him bothered him, cut him deep inside. Instead of focusing on her, he tried to concentrate his anger on the fact that somebody had tried to set him up, tried to get the two of them to eliminate each other. _Ichimaru,_ he thought cursing the smiling fool. _You're behind this, aren't you?_

Despite his efforts, a little bit of bitterness tugged at his heart. _Hinamori and I grew up together. There's nobody that knows her better than I do. Nobody._ Another heavy sigh escaped perpetually frowning lips, as he lowered his right hand to stroke his chin thoughtfully.

"Captain!" Matsumoto repeated more insistently.

"Oh, Matsumoto," he said, finally focusing his gaze on her. "What is it?"

"I could ask you the same thing," she replied, a small smile on her lips. "But I think I already know the answer."

Hitsugaya stared blankly at his lieutenant, unaware that he was that transparent.

Matsumoto shook her head almost in an almost imperceptible movement as she approached her captain by the desk. "Even though you look surprised rather than severe for once, you haven't managed to get rid of the creases right here." Lightly, she pressed her forefinger and middle finger to the area between his eyebrows, fingers running gently across the slight indentation that sat at the head of each brow.

"Matsu…moto… leave it alone," he said softly, shifting his eyes, catching a distorted form of his appearance reflected in a crystal paperweight that sat on the desk. _When did this happen?_ He asked himself, surveying himself. She was right; his eyes and their frame were too old for his face. His brows were set as if he was continually thinking, giving him a constant look of sternness. _I'm too young to be getting wrinkles already._ Reflexively, he pulled away, backing up and then looking at his lieutenant, forcing the mask of calm and indifference on his face once more.

_Captain,_ she thought. _I understand you very well, but … sometimes, just sometimes, I forget how young you are. You're a genius that whizzed through school at a remarkable speed with amazing ease. But you're young; you're still a kid._ It was at this moment that Matsumoto realized that she had never seen her captain smile, and so she gazed at her beloved captain, chin in hand, lips pursed.

"What is it, Matsumoto?" Hitsugaya demanded, narrowing his eyes once more. He didn't like the way she was staring at him, as if she was trying to see into him.

"My deepest apologies, Captain, but I just was thinking that I couldn't ever recall you smiling."

_Girls are so strange,_ Hitsugaya thought, rolling his eyes. Matsumoto was better than most, if he thought about it logically. She knew her duties, was always reliable, and didn't let her emotions cloud her judgment. But, she wasn't **her**. But still, he was fond of his lieutenant and was convinced that their squad was one of the most competent and functional out of the thirteen.

"A smile, huh?" he commented. The corners of his mouth turned up, but he couldn't seem to get rid of the creases by his eyebrows.

"Captain …" Matsumoto managed to spit out before not so successfully trying to hide a laugh.

"Oy," he said, the failed attempt of good intention dropping off of his face.

Ok, now she could tell that her captain was getting pissed. His angry face and aura could rival that of Captain Kuchiki's. That in itself was an accomplishment, a scary, not particularly complimentary accomplishment, but an accomplishment none the less. But what Hitsugaya said next surprised her.

"Did I, just for a second, take your mind off of **him**?"

Shaking her head ruefully, she admitted to herself that she had been wrong in thinking that Captain Hitsugaya had ceased having the ability to surprise her. Working under whom the other lieutenants casually called "the kid" (never to his face, of course) had given her perspective about how important age wasn't. Although he was young, he was truly gifted, having both a sharp mind and the right attitude, which allowed him to mature quickly. She had to admit she had been skeptical when she was first assigned to work under Captain Hitsugaya, but she found the way he carried himself admirable and his complete competence amazing. She liked and respected him, but, still, he wasn't the particular white haired young man that was constantly on her mind, as Hitsugaya brought up.

"I … he really is a lot of trouble, isn't he?"

"Hmph."

"Captain, that wasn't really a response," she pointed out, taking the liberty to sit on the edge of the desk.

"It wasn't meant to be one."

"Do you think … that he was really behind Captain Aizen's death?"

"You don't think it's true?

"I've known Gin, I mean Captain Ichimaru since we were children. But I've never been able to read his thoughts, his intents. He's confusing, his goals unclear, but he's not … evil." Her voice trailed off thoughtfully as she considered the possibility, eyes losing a bit of their light at the idea.

Hitsugaya raised one eyebrow. He had known Matsumoto and Ichimaru had been friends in the past, although this level of familiarity surprised him. He hadn't imagined that her relationship with Gin was so similar to his with Hinamori's. "You don't want it to be true," he corrected himself.

"He saved my life."

"Don't—"

Before he could finish his statement, Matsumoto flipped her hair off of her shoulder and cut in, slate blue eyes steely, "You don't have to warn me about such things. I know what my duties are."

"I know," Hitsugaya said, his lips curling up in relief. "I know that I don't have to worry about that with you." It was then that he realized that he had the perfect vice captain. Matsumoto was bright and capable, her judgments sound, and her intentions nothing less than loyal.

"Ehh," she said, "there it is, a smile. A real smile."

"Oy," Hitsugaya said, remnants of his good mood fading from his countenance.

"Hmm …" she uttered, lips pursed in thought.

"What is it?" he asked, somewhat cautiously.

"I wonder if you've smiled for **her**?"

It was now his turn to chuckle. "She really is a lot of trouble," he returned, lips curving up in an ironic smile.

"It's difficult, huh?" she asked, running her a hand through her hair.

"What is?"

"Caring, worrying, wondering."

"I could ask you the same thing," he quipped.

_Returning parts of our conversation,_ she thought. _I wouldn't expect anything else from you, Captain._ "Do you already know the answer?"

"Yeah," he said with a tired sigh.

It was unspoken, but she knew he loved Hinamori. To keep her safe, Matsumoto was pretty sure he would forsake his duties. Although she and Hinamori were casual acquaintances, she could never tell if Hinamori's affection for Hitsugaya was anything beyond sibling fondness, as she was sure his was for her.

She looked at her captain, eyes piercing before asking a very pointed question. "How far do the two of you go back?"

"Since we were kids," he answered.

"You still are a kid, Captain," she said lightly, testing his reaction.

The crease by his brows deepened, frown taking over his face. Shoulders tensed, and hands clenched. _Is that all I am? _He thought. _When will you think of me as a man, Hinamori?_ He could never get her to address him as "Captain" like the rest of those in the thirteen squads, although admittedly he never wanted her to. He didn't want to put something, such as an official title, between their familiarity. But he reminded her that he was a captain, hoping that someday she would see him as an adult, as a man.

"I'm sorry, Captain," Matsumoto whispered softly.

"Don't be," he replied shortly. "You have it pretty tough, too," he told her.

"I suppose I do," she said with a sad sigh. Gin is hard to understand, and sometimes it drives me crazy trying to." After a pause, she shook her head to lift herself from her reverie. "I'm not sure who has it tougher," she admitted. "We both love people that are hard to deal with."

"Ichimaru's unreadable and frankly kind of creepy," Hitsuaga commented.

"Hinamori is too emotional and isn't always rational," she returned, challengingly.

Uncomfortable silence filtered slowly through the room. It was heavy and overbearing, like humidity threatening to spill over into torrential downpour. For a moment they stared wordlessly at each other, both unwilling to break the quiet that had formed.

"Captain," Matsumoto finally said. "I'll only do this once. And it's to cheer you up."

"Eh?" he asked, raising an eyebrow in suspicion.

With an impish grin on her face, she reached over and patted Hitsugaya on the head ruffling the white hair, something she had seen Hinamori do on more than one occasion. "Take care of yourself, Shiro-chan."

Hitsugaya opened his mouth and then closed it again, as if unsure of what to say. Instead, he just shook his head, and said, "Let's go stop this execution. Follow me, Matsumoto."

"Yes, sir," she answered immediately. As the two of them left, Matsumoto was pretty sure that they would never bring up this conversation again.

**Author's notes:** So, any comments on my first attempt at a one-shot? If so, you know where to leave them.


End file.
